a christmas carol: on the air | how to insult like scrooge

Scrooge is best-known for being a tight-fisted penny pincher and sharp, clever insults. We asked actor Paul Griggs, playing Scrooge in our production of A CHRISTMAS CAROL: ON THE AIR, to share his favourite Scroogian snub.  Feel free to memorize a few in case you need to bring down the level of cheer at your next holiday party.

To his nephew Fred:
“Merry Christmas? What reason have you to be merry? You’re poor enough.”
“What’s Christmastime to you but a time for paying bills without money?”
“Christmastime for you, is a time for finding yourself a year older, and not an hour richer.”
“If I could work my will, every idiot who goes about with ‘Merry Christmas’ on his lips should be boiled in his own pudding!”

To Bob Cratchit:
“What do I care about his ill wife? I want the money he owes me.”
“Christmastime is a poor excuse for picking a man’s pocket every twenty-fifth of December.”

To the Gentlewoman:
“If the poor would rather die, they had better do it and decrease the surplus population”
“I don’t make myself merry at Christmas and I can’t afford to make idle people merry.”