NORMAN. Counting down to the long awaited Feast Of The Holy Crossing, it was twenty years ago today! Or it will be in a couple days. August 8, 1969, commemoration at 11:35 sharp, the commemoration right here on KRBY, Radio That's Way Beyond The Norm! . . .
NORMAN. Anybody come yet?
(BEA shakes her head.)
NORMAN. Probably nobody listens to my station.
GRANDPA. So when's air time? For the crossing?
NORMAN. No show today.
GRANDPA. No show. You've been talking about this one for weeks!
NORMAN. I'll do it another time.
GRANDPA. But today's the eighth. You said it had to be August eighth.
NORMAN. I'll do it another year.
GRANDPA. Norman! I can't believe what I'm hearing. What about all the special food you had Sky pick up for you.
NORMAN. You can eat it. I'm not really hungry.
GRANDPA. But I thought it was for some kind of special religious feast, or something.
NORMAN. The Feast of the Holy Crossing of Saint Paul and Saint John.
GRANDPA. Exactly! And wasn't there some ritual we were supposed to do?
NORMAN. I guess.
GRANDPA. Norman, don't guess. You never guess.
NORMAN. Okay, fine! There's a commemoration. At 11:35. But people will be crossing all over the world. They don't need me.
GRANDPA. WE need you, Norm. Whatever this thing is, it's exactly what we need!
NORMAN. Look, it's stupid, okay? Frankly Grandpa, that sort of thing doesn't seem real important today.
GRANDPA. I'm very disappointed in you, young man. I never thought of you as selfish. (Pause.) Norman, I'm sorry. Nobody around here feels much like celebrating anything. Truth be told, I feel the same. Don't even feel up to a funeral today, and that's pretty low. But Norman, that's exactly when we need to celebrate. Something bigger than ourselves. All this will pass, but if we neglect the things that will last through the ages... I want to celebrate. Something. And you know, if Sky was here, she'd celebrate with us. It wouldn't matter to HER that she was in jail.
(A moment's silence.)
NORMAN. You're right. No need to apologize, Grandpa. I've got a party planned. And that's one thing you don't give up on! (Inspired, he strides over to GRANDPA and gives him a sudden, awkward hug.) Thanks. . . .
NORMAN. Ladies and gentlemen, the Feast of the Holy Crossing of Saint Paul and Saint John. And let us not forget Saints George and Ringo.
UNCLE VLADMIR. Ringo!
NORMAN. It was twenty years ago today... (R MILHOUSE holds up a framed copy of the Abbey Road album cover with the inscription "11:35 A.M., August 8, 1969") And now, the feast! Honey Pie, Savoy Truffle, and of course my own invention, Strawberry Fields! (He holds aloft a whipped cream concoction, studded with strawberries.) The Feast Of The Fabs!
Text from "You Still Can't"
Photo #1: Tim, Ron, Alison, Amy
Photo #2: Tim, Ron, Linsy, Alison
Photo #3: Alison